Greg Egan by Permutation City (epub)

Author:Permutation City (epub)
Format: epub
Published: 2023-08-20T00:00:00+00:00

16

(Toy man, picture it)

J U N E   2 0 4 5

Paul felt a hand gripping his forearm. He tried to shake it off, but his arm barely moved, and a terrible aching started up in his shoulder. He opened his eyes, then closed them again in pain. He tried again. On the fifth or sixth attempt, he managed to see a face through washed-out brightness and tears.

Elizabeth.

She raised a cup to his lips. He took a sip, spluttered and choked, but then managed to force some of the thin sweet liquid down.

She said, “You’re going to be fine. Just take it easy.”

“Why are you here?” He coughed, shook his head, wished he hadn’t. He was touched, but confused. Why had his original lied—claiming that she wanted to shut him down—when in fact she was sympathetic enough to go through the arduous process of visiting him?

He was lying on something like a dentist’s couch, in an unfamiliar room. He was in a hospital gown; there was a drip in his right arm, and a catheter in his urethra. He glanced up to see an interface helmet, a bulky hemisphere of magnetic axon current inducers, suspended from a gantry, not far above his head. He thought: fair enough, to construct a simulated meeting place that looked like the room that her real body must be in. Putting him in the couch, though, and giving him all the symptoms of a waking visitor, seemed a little extreme.

He tapped the couch with his left hand. “What’s the message? You want me to know exactly what you’re going through? Okay. I’m grateful. And it’s good to see you.” He shuddered with relief, and delayed shock. “Fantastic, to tell the truth.” He laughed weakly. “I honestly thought he was going to wipe me out. The man’s a complete lunatic. Believe me, you’re talking to his better half.”

Elizabeth was perched on a stool beside him. She said, “Paul. Try to listen carefully to what I’m going to say. You’ll start to reintegrate the memories gradually, on your own, but it’ll help if I talk you through it all first. To start with, you’re not a Copy. You’re flesh and blood.”

Paul coughed, tasting acid. Durham had let her do something unspeakable to the model of his digestive system.

“I’m flesh and blood? What kind of sadistic joke is that? Do you have any idea how hard it’s been, coming to terms with the truth?”

She said patiently, “It’s not a joke. I know you don’t remember yet, but…after you made the scan that was going to run as Copy number five, you finally told me what you were doing. And I persuaded you not to run it—until you’d tried another experiment: putting yourself in its place. Finding out, first hand, what it would be forced to go through.

“And you agreed. You entered the virtual environment which the Copy would have inhabited—with your memories since the day of the scan suppressed, so you had no way of knowing that you were only a visitor.

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